Saturday, February 7, 2009

Important Stimulus Information

Important info on the Stimulus Payment

This year, taxpayers will receive an Economic Stimulus Payment. This is a very exciting new program that I will explain using the Q and A format:

Q. What is an Economic Stimulus Payment?
A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.

Q. Where will the government get this money?
A. From taxpayers.

Q. So the government is giving me back my own money?
A. Only a smidgen.

Q. What is the purpose of this payment?
A. The plan is that you will use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.

Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China?
A. Shut up. Some helpful advice on how to best help the US economy by spending your stimulus check wisely:

If you spend that money at Wal-Mart, the money will go to China. If you spend it on gasoline it will go to the Arabs. If you purchase a computer it will go to India. If you purchase fruit and vegetables it will go to Mexico, Honduras, and Guatemala (unless you buy organic). If you buy a car it will go to Japan. If you purchase useless crap it will go to Taiwan.
And none of it will help the American economy. We need to keep that money in America . You can keep the money in America by spending it at yard sales, going to a baseball game, or spend it on domestic beer, hookers or tattoos, since those are the only businesses still in the US.


  1. Thank you! You just gave me a way to justify spending money on another tattoo!!!!! Yea!!!

  2. That's a great piece! And I like your new look!

    The Texas Woman

  3. I know . . . how about if they lower the amount we have to pay in taxes!? Period.

  4. Funny you should sya that.. I just had my new Steelers tattoo drawn up!!

  5. This is too funny! My husband will agree on the tv idea!

  6. You are hilarious! I love this post!

  7. VIsiting from SITS- that's hilarious!


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